Blast From The Past

One of my blog readers commented in one of my blog entries last year. When I clicked what it was, bigla akong na-transport sa past. Before I continue my kwento, here's the blog entry that I'm talking about:

 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

How Do I Start This?

I have been trying to start this blog entry for five minutes now. Kanina pa ako nagbubura ng intro ko. I wanna make kwento kasi how Anika has coughs and colds. How she's so whiny nowadays. How she always want to be carried everywhere, even while watching her educational dvds. How Alvin and I are so puyat because Anika doesn't sleep without being carried. She cries when we put her down. So now I have a stiff neck because I slept sitting down last night.

I wanna make kwento that Alvin and I almost reached our end point yesterday because of our frustration with each other. How his parents made sugod to our house to convince us to work things out. How Alvin's dad, who never ever shows emotion, kissed my forehead and told me to promise him that this will not happen again because it makes him really sad. How my mom threatened to pull out the large chunk of investment she has for Anika's future use in the bank and "make it waldas sa shopping" if we separated.

I wanna make kwento how I wish I could stay home and take care of Anika until she gets well. I wanna make kwento how frustrated I am that Anika runs after Girlie instead of me while snot is running down her tiny nose. I wanna make kwento how Alvin and I talked again to make it right this time. Fresh start daw. Ulit.

But deep, deep inside me, iba talaga ang gusto kong ikwento sa inyo. It takes all my breeding not to do it now. In time I will share I promise.

I'll be back to regular programming in 3... 2... 1...

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I can still remember how I felt while writing that blog entry. Yung frustration, yung lungkot, yung galit, etc. Pero after reading that, I felt happy. In two years, since I wrote that entry, I have learned a lot of things na pala.

One, all my worries about Anika loving Girlie more than she loves me is wala lang pala. Regardless if you are a working mom or a mom who lives away from your kids, nobody can ever replace you as their mom. Sa dulo, sayo at sayo din tatakbo yang anak mo kasi ikaw ang nanay niyan. If they get sick, they will look for no one else but their mothers. Walang yaya ang pwedeng pumalit sa ina. Alam ko na yan ngayon.

Two, married life isn't easy at all. Hindi ito na-briefing ng todo sa akin ni Wowa noon. I thought it was easy because you will just have to carry over the fun things that you were doing when you were boyfriend-girlfriend pa lang. Bahay bahayan na tunay ang peg ba. Hindi pala. There are so many factors that can make you disagree with each other. God, you can't imagine the stuff Alvin and I fight about now. It's normal. The important thing is that you talk about it. There will be times that one of you will want to give up. That's okay. It happens. Basta dapat isa-isa lang. Isa isa lang ang magkakaroon ng feeling of giving up at a given time. Hindi dapat sabay. Dapat yung isa lumalaban to fix it. Ganyan.

Third, I learned that there are people na salbahe talaga and hindi mo kailangan makisama sa mga taong ito. Keep the important people in your life. It's never too late to discover who are real and who are not. You may have made a wrong judgement before, the important thing is that you have corrected it already.

There.

It really feels good to know that you have learnings kahit papaano.

It feels best to know that I was able to share them with you! =)

Good night!