I was carrying Anika for thirty minutes because she wouldn't stop crying. I had to give her to her yaya Girlie muna because I needed to pee. When I got back to the room, she was sleeping soundly in Girlie's arms. WTF? I was only gone for less than 5 minutes!! Selos talaga ako. Feeling ko Anika likes her yaya more than she likes me.
And then while I was making one of my blog entries a while ago, I saw them as pictured above. I got jealous again. I sleep kasi at the other side of Anika but when she sleeps she faces the side where Girlie is. So I transferred to the side where Girlie sleeps. Then when i woke up, Anika was facing the opposite side again! Ano ba ito?! It's really difficult if you have a yaya and you're not a full time mom. Maaagawan ka talaga ng papel.
It's sad in a way pero I'm still thankful because Anika has a yaya who loves her like we do. I guess I need to spend more time with her talaga. Kaso paano pa ba gusto ng tadhana sakin?! At exactly 6pm, I almost want to run home if that would mean I could be with Anika na agad. Ayaw ko na nga mamalengke or maggrocery kasi bawas oras pa yun kay Anika pero ano naman kakainin namin, diba?! I tried taking care of Anika during wee hours para ma-feel niya pa din na Im there kaso para talaga akong walking zombie sa office the next day. Paano ba ito?!
Alvin and I weren't supposed to have our date night last night because I wanted to spend my free time with Anika pero I felt kasi our relationship is beginning to strain na. All we talk about now is Anika or what to buy for the house or any other stuff except about both of us. We needed to go out, just the two of us, para wag mawala ang magic and romance. Husband and wife sometimes forget that is important too. Di na nga namin alam pano madidiskartehan pano kami makakapagmake love kasi we don't have our room to ourselves, kaya nagdinner and movie na lang. Masabi lang na may "us" time kami.
We are trying to have our date nights because according to my mom, di daw maganda na puros si Anika na lang. Having a child is an enhancement to our lives daw and it doesn't mean na dapat we'd forget about ourselves and umikot na lang life namin solely around her. Judging from my childhood, I was skeptical about what she said. I rarely saw Mama back then but in fairness to her, she makes it up to us with material things or pasyal. I don't want naman that to happen to me and Anika. Somewhere in the middle siguro. Balance is the key as they always say.
Hay! Balancing a career and motherhood is not an easy task talaga. Props to all the career moms out there who can balance family life with their career.
Back to my yaya jealousy issues, I can't help it eh. I won't dwell on it na lang to prevent bad vibes. Ofcourse I wont take it against Anika too. It's not her fault. Sana lang when she grows older, makabawi bawi ako ng time with her.
I have so much to learn pa talaga. One baby step at a time.
fleur, i was jealous also w/ Julisha's yaya dati nung ngwowork pa ako. As in pag-uwi ko ng house ayoko na nandun siya para ako lang makikita or maaamoy ni Julisha. Tapos pag weekend pinapayagan ko mag day-off kasi ako na lahat for Julisha. hahaha! Pero swerte ka may yaya ka na mahal si Anika and is taking care of her well. Mahirap maghanap ng yaya na ganyan. When it comes naman sa time w/ your hubby, tama lang na you go out and spend time with him na kayong dalawa lang. I don't get to do that since we don't have a yaya but if there's an important lakad and my sisters are available, dun lang kami nakakaalis. But now Julisha's big na, i can talk to her na about going out wiht her dad kaya pinapayagan niya ako. hahaha!
ReplyDeleteyou're just adjusting. It'll fall into place don't worry. :)