Baby Number 2

NO!

I'm not pregnant again.

Though hubby's dropping OBVIOUS hints already that he wants another baby again. A boy specifically.

Me don't like.

ALVIN: Bakit ba Babe ayaw mo na magbaby ulit?

ME: Is that a question?!?! Have you forgotten what I went through when I was pregnant with Anika?! Kulang na lang pati kaluluwa ko isuka ko araw araw eh!

ALVIN: It will be easier daw Babe pagsecond baby na.

ME: Is that a scientific fact?! Saang encyclopedia makikita yan?! And besides, HELLO! I haven't gone back to my old figure yet tapos mabubuntis na ako agad?!

ALVIN: I love you Babe no matter how you look like. And besides, maganda pagmay ka-laro si Anika.

ME: Bibilhan ko siya ng ka-laro.

ALVIN: Babe, dapat may kakampi si Anika sa life habang lumalaki.

ME: Ako ang kakampi niya. At ikaw ang kalaban namin. (in shopping i mean)

ALVIN: Bilhan kita bag.

ME: Che!!! Hindi mo na ako mauuto dyan!!!

(Ano kayang bag no? I'm dying to own a Goyard! But no. Focus Nana!!)

I wanted to end this conversation already because we both were getting frustrated na. I had to say something to make him stop talking.

ME: Bigyan mo ako five hundred thousand, payag ako.

Silence.

Yey. Tapos na.

Or so I thought.

We were having dinner with my mom and as usual, the topic as usual was a second baby.

ALVIN: Ayaw na nga po Mama ni Nana magbaby eh. Nahihirapan daw siya pagbuntis. Bayaran ko daw ng five hundred thousand para pumayag.

Pakker. Sumbungerong Frog!

MAMA: Five hundred thousand?! Di bale anak ako bahala (and she turns to me). Ako! Ako ang magbabayad sayo ng five hundred thousand, GO, magbaby na kayo.

Connivance ito ateh.

Anyways, before any of you think of me as a selfish b*tch, I have reasons why I don't want to have another baby anymore. Valid reasons. One that tops all my other reasons is... umm.. it's kinda hard to explain so bear with me.

I don't want to have another baby because I might give less love and attention to one of them (or worse, both). I wouldn't be able to bear that. I love my parents to death and I'm forever thankful that they are my parents but they were working all the time (to provide for us obviously) while I was growing up. I don't take it against them kasi naman we all graduated from good schools and had pretty much what we wanted when we were kids. But I have experienced missing them so much that when I wake up in the morning and they've left for work already, I get their clothes from the closet and bring it with me back to bed. And I remember, there was also a time when I was following my mom around the house because I was trying to tell her a joke I heard at school but she wasn't minding me because she was busy doing stuff because she just came home from the office. I felt bad because the joke came out lame and not funny anymore. They were there but not really because their minds were preoccupied with a lot of things. (Which happens a lot to me and Alvin nowadays because of work)

I don't like my kids to feel that way. I want to have time for them. But how?! Now pa lang, hindi na ako magkanda-ugaga sa buhay ko eh. It's hard to juggle the baby, the husband, the house, the work and my needs nowadays. Have you read Topaz Horizon's blog entry about this? It's so true. Tapos madadagdagan pa ng isang baby?! Pano na yun?!

I hope you get what I mean.

Though last weekend, we were watching this noontime show and I saw this adorable little boy dancing so well on stage:

photo credit: kapamilyaonesite.blogspot.com

Ang cute cute niya! Girlie said his name is Bugoy Carino. Hay I fell in love sa ka-cute-tan niya!

ME: Babe, parang gusto ko na tuloy ng baby boy. Ang cute oh, lalo na if he'll look like him.

ALVIN: (face lights up) Tara na babe! Umpisahan na natin yan!!!

Ay sauce!!!