Wedding Jitters Before

Sorry to bore you with another Alvin & Fleur post but since it's the eve-week of our anniversary, I am suddenly very nostalgic.

I was browsing (again) my multiply blog and came across this entry about my wedding jitters. I wrote here all my worries before I got married. See, I wasn't the marrying kind. I palpitated whenever marriage was mentioned. To me kasi because I came from a broken family, I was so nega about committing to one person only. I thought kahit na nasa cloud nine ka ngayon, one day, you find things or reasons not to stay with that person anymore. In short, masakit sa bangs ang may asawa.

Funny thing is that when Alvin came, I had no hesitations in settling down with him. Weird, I know. He has this aura kasi of securing a person eh. And having known him almost all my life, wala talagang second thoughts.

But as our wedding day neared, ang dami kong concerns! Take a look (lifted from my multiply blog entry):

I am anxious, scared and worried of the days to come. Baka because of this, mag-ala Julia Roberts ako like in Runaway Bride.

I'm scared of the future. I have this feeling that Alvin will someday file for annulment for the following reasons:


I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK. How will Alvin and I eat?! Pano pagnagsawa na siya sa take out?! Although i can whip up a mean banana shake, we can't eat that forever. I cannot even tell the difference between lettuce and cabbage. Thank God, they're already labeled in Rustan's!


I AM NOT DOMESTICATED. The last time i attempted to wash clothes, everything became pink (my dad can attest to this). The last time i tried handwashing handkerchieves, napunit ko sila. It takes me 15 minutes to make a bed (it needs to be really really flat, you know what i mean?), 30 minutes to wash dishes, 15 minutes to iron one shirt and i have no idea how to clean a toilet.


I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS. I lose things. I do not remove my engagement ring on my finger because i will lose it. I feed my dog whatever he wants so that he won't cry. Pinakalbo ko aso ko kasi nakakatamad suklayan. Diba i told you i have 25+ pairs of Havaianas, so far 5 na lang nakikita ko. I dunno where they all went.


I AM A SHOPAHOLIC. period.


I am also scared because I do not know what will happened after "the wedding". What will it be like to have a husband? I cannot return / exchange him naman if i realize i dont like him like my clothes and shoes. What if I discover that he farts every single time pala? What if that cute habit of his will one day become really really annoying? What if its true pala that im a selfish, spoiled brat who doesnt deserve someone as great as Alvin?


REALIZATION


And then, i read these self help things in the internet. The solution for this is to accept imperfections. Make your choice. Stick to your choice. And love your choice. No marriage is perfect. Husband and wife work together as a team to make their marriage close to perfection. Aside from great sex (seriously), communication is important. Talk about anything and everything without being judgemental of another. Never ever say unkind words because you can never get it back. And what i have been practicing for so long, contentment. The almost one and only key to a happy life.

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Now as we are celebrating our first year anniversary, I can say "Ano nga ba yung mga renereklamo ko?!"

So far, I think I'm rocking married life. Well, at least I try to. All my concerns, nababago ko pakonti-konti. It will come naturally sa babae eh. If, and only if, ready na talaga siya magpakasal when she got married. And the realizations I mentioned then, super applicable to newlyweds. I-print natin yan at ipost sa ceiling above our beds. Para we can read it before going to bed and after we wake up. Gawin nating mantra itech.

One year down and many more to go! I cannot promise I'll be the best Stepford wife, but I will try my best to be the best wife to my hubby. It's the greatest gift I can return to him for putting up with me this year =)

Happy Anniversary to me and Alvin! =D